I actually wrote the following post over a month ago, at the end of February. I feel it's very relevant now, because here in Rwanda, we are entering into the memorial week, the week when everyone reflects on and remembers the horrors of the genocide. People talk about it, watch movies about it, and have events all week in which they remember. It is interesting to me, because the rest of the year, it is very taboo to mention the subject, and from the sound of it, the topic seems to become free reign only during this one memorial week. I have heard that at some of these events, nurses and psychologists stand by to deal with the re-traumatization that happens during this time. There is no argument that I am an outsider when it comes to this subject, and there is no way that I can understand the magnitude of how this has effected the survivors here, but I feel I owe the Rwandan people the respect of joining with them in whatever way appropriate this week. Jesus invites us to "mourn with those who mourn," and I actually do think this is an incredibly crucial part of healing, so pray with for all of us in Rwanda this week as we grieve over the losses and expect that as we let go, God brings restoration from devastation, beauty from ashes, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. It is so powerful to reflect upon the fact that God's specialty is bringing LIFE FROM DEATH! Praise Him.
Here's my entry from last month:
This month has been full of emotional and spiritual highs and lows. As I have learned more about the genocide in 1994, and as I’ve heard personal stories from friends who are my age of the horror, devastation, and tragedy that they personally experienced, I have struggled to understand and make sense of the evil and the tragedy that is still a very real part of the lives of my friends here. I have a friend who does not know her real birthday because her parents were murdered when she was an infant and so she has no one alive in her life who knows her actual birthday. I know another friend who ran with his parents to a church to seek refuge from the ones seeking to take their lives, only to be corralled into a massive death trap, in which his parents were murdered in front of his eyes. He only survived because he was hidden beneath dead bodies and the murderers did not see him.
Hearing stories like this and more has caused me to grapple with many questions, as you can imagine. As I’ve prayed and wrestled and struggled, God has revealed to my heart and mind His goodness and His faithfulness. He has reminded me of the promises of scripture, such as those in Isaiah 35: “the desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom…”. He has exhorted me through His Word to “strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts: ‘be strong, do not fear. Your God will come, He will come with vengeance, with divine retribution, He will come to save you.’” He has reminded me that “the eyes of the blind will be opened, the ears of the deaf unstopped, then will the lame leap like a dear, and the mute tongue shout for joy! Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert.” And “the ransomed of the Lord…will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.” What promises!!!! And I believe them! I am seeing previews of these promises coming to be in this land, streams of life breaking out in this land. Pray with me for the fulfillment of these promises in the hearts of the people in Rwanda, that they would see the complete fulfillment of these promises. I have seen new life and hope in the eyes and hearts of people who were once so devastated, orphaned and broken. I have seen orphans adopted into the family of God, people who were once crippled with fear and trauma finding new life in the Lord, and even voices of those who were literally muted by trauma in the genocide being loosed as Jesus sets their hearts free from fear and trauma.
Hearing stories like this and more has caused me to grapple with many questions, as you can imagine. As I’ve prayed and wrestled and struggled, God has revealed to my heart and mind His goodness and His faithfulness. He has reminded me of the promises of scripture, such as those in Isaiah 35: “the desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom…”. He has exhorted me through His Word to “strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts: ‘be strong, do not fear. Your God will come, He will come with vengeance, with divine retribution, He will come to save you.’” He has reminded me that “the eyes of the blind will be opened, the ears of the deaf unstopped, then will the lame leap like a dear, and the mute tongue shout for joy! Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert.” And “the ransomed of the Lord…will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.” What promises!!!! And I believe them! I am seeing previews of these promises coming to be in this land, streams of life breaking out in this land. Pray with me for the fulfillment of these promises in the hearts of the people in Rwanda, that they would see the complete fulfillment of these promises. I have seen new life and hope in the eyes and hearts of people who were once so devastated, orphaned and broken. I have seen orphans adopted into the family of God, people who were once crippled with fear and trauma finding new life in the Lord, and even voices of those who were literally muted by trauma in the genocide being loosed as Jesus sets their hearts free from fear and trauma.
There are still deep wounds here, and among most, a sense of mistrust: “are you one who killed my family? Are you going to hurt me again? What is your motivation for being here? Ones like you that came here before caused deep division and deception and mistrust in our country, and from the deception that resulted, a million were murdered here in 100 days. How are you different? What do you want from me?” These things are a reality that must be faced here. Rwanda needs the fulfillment of these promises of God. People are still finding literal remains of human beings as they dig in their fields, the land has been ravished. The land needs such massive healing from the Lord of Hosts. People are still holding hatred in their hearts. A massive movement of REPENTANCE and FORGIVENESS is desperately needed to break out in this land in order to bring healing and restoration. Join with me in speaking “Grace to this mountain…” of devastation, that the mountain would be demolished and new life would begin to arise in this place.
“Who are you, oh mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain; and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, “grace, grace unto it!” Zechariah 4:7
