How It All Began

OK, let's get busy. In my last post, I shared with you a very brief glimpse into God's calling me into His Kingdom; now, I want to share with you my journey into missions and how it all got started. After God led me through some radical life shifts, He began drawing me to forget my old way of making decisions (which was shoddy at best), and he invited me to entrust my future to Him as He led me from place to place. In 2008, He led me to Fort Worth, TX, but by the end of that year, I had gotten into the groove of Christianity in the "Bible belt," going to church, doing all the social functions, and like any good 20-something Christian girl, trying to figure out which one of these "good church boys" was going to be my husband. I had read the stories in the Bible of people radically abandoning their lives for the gospel,  people cutting holes through rooftops for a touch from Jesus, chasing after him down dusty paths to touch his cloak, and I had desired the adventure of knowing this life of following Jesus. But here I was, sitting in a chilly air-conditioned room with 2 dozen other people my age, singing worship songs, but finding myself distracted by the others in the room, "what's their story? Where are they going? Man, that girl sure is wearing a lot of make-up. Man, that guy sure is muscular; he's probably way too into himself. Oooh, that guy looks like he's really getting into the worship; I bet he's really spiritual. Maybe HE could be my husband!" Oh, how I wish I was exaggerating. Something about what I was reading in my Bible and what I was experiencing in real life was not adding up. I was definitely not content in this place. Something in me KNEW that this was only a halfhearted existence. Something in me KNEW that I was meant for so much more.

And just as I started to feel hopeless, like my life would be no more than being discontented and trying to distract myself with boys and entertainment,  it started happening. God began to pursue my heart from every angle, taking me deeper into the reality of His love and giving me a glimpse into a lifestyle that seemed to be much more aligned with what I was reading in that book about Jesus. The jumping off point was when I was approached in summer 2009 to go on a missions trip with a group called "Let's Start Talking" for one month in Kiev, Ukraine. I had been praying for some sort of opportunity to get out of this weird little bubble I found myself in, and one day someone just approached me and said, "Jessie, all of this money has been raised for this trip and we just desperately need for someone to say yes and go." (God has always been so gracious to give me a clear, easy on-ramp to say yes to Him). I prayed, felt a stirring in my heart that said this was it, and I said yes. As I prepared to go on this trip, reading the materials that "Let's Start Talking" puts together to prepare individuals to go and share the gospel with people, my heart was stirred and revived. I was moved to tears...sobs, really...as I read about the power of sharing the gospel and the story of Jesus with others through reading the word with them and sharing life with them. The power of the Word of God and the impact that I heard it having on people who'd never heard it revived my heart, awakened something in me that had been slumbering. I knew in that moment that I was created for this, to share the power of Jesus, the real God-man, the breather of life, who walked this earth and who took on every bit of sin and darkness into his own grave, and who left it buried there, being resurrected in complete newness, giving me that same resurrection from death to complete newness and freedom. I was made for this.